Being A God-like Father?

Is it possible to be a God-like father? Is it possible to love a son the way God loves us? 

It may not be possible to do so, exactly like He does with us, but I believe we can make great strides by trying to continuously grow toward His way of doing things. As fathers, we can either care enough to try our best, or we can pack it in and "say" we did our best.

In order to be a "good" or even a "great" father to a son, a father has to first be a man. But, since everyone has their own definition of what it means to be a man, there is no way to agree on the characteristics of a man. For the sake of discussion, I will venture a plausible, and though not complete, hopefully an acceptable definition of a man. (Many have tried this and failed, and so I set my hopes very low as I expect to fail at it as well.) 

A man is a post-adolescent male human being who is mature enough to know his needs, self-sufficient enough to take care of most of his needs, and willing to offer himself to the greater good.

As we dissect this definition, we find many areas of development, long lists of application practices, and room for an infinite variety of ways to be a man. In the context of our "father" discussion, the willingness to offer oneself to the greater good leaves a man with no option of wanting to abandon his son to lesser ways. Even if he believes himself to be a poor choice by God, the "greater good" includes him being willing to grow into the father/man that will be capable of providing the best upbringing for his son.

Being "a man about it" includes admitting one's need to grow in certain directions. Being self-sufficient doesn't mean knowing everything, but it does mean knowing how to dig up sources of knowledge, wisdom, and examples to learn from. If a man is not willing to admit he needs to improve the way he does things so his son is provided a greater upbringing, then he doesn't fit my definition of being a man. If a man is doing a great job of being a father, then there isn't as much need to be pursuing greater and greater ways.

To me, I am doing my best when I am following God in my heart by seeking His light on my path so the decisions I make are more loving, gracious, patient, wise, and humble. These are the times when I see my children respond with joy and goodness. These times never seem to last very long. Too soon I become the bear who growls and snarls at them for something ridiculous. Perhaps because I didn't teach them well enough, or they aren't easier to deal with when I am tired. Maybe it's because I am too busy to hear their rationale, or because I am God's biggest idiot who is still trying to become a better man.

As I observe God's way of being a father to me, I learn about the areas I need to improve upon with my children.

With me, God is always present, and His presence keeps me aware of my better choices, until... somehow I ignore Him. But, like the times I would use poor manners at the table when Dad was working late, I would somehow use better manners when he was present. Or like the times I was lazy and slow at my chores when he was inside the house and I would suddenly become a great worker when he came outside. For some guys it was about impressing their dad, while others didn't want to get in trouble or reminded again. Either way, a father's presence changes the way a son does life. I watch my son change the way he handles his responsibilities when he knows I am around. (It frustrates me and amuses me. I remember being the same way, but I also want him to take on "running the good race" without needing me. Therefore, as of late, I have backed off and allow him to choose his own results. We'll see.)

With me, God gives truckloads of grace. I do things wrong, and He just encourages me to slow down and try again. I get angry at myself, and He tells me to let it go. I know He sees my sin and washes me clean of it, but I hesitate to forgive myself as readily as He forgives me. When I see my son getting angry at his mistakes, I want to tell him to "let it go." Actually, I want to do more than that. I want to reach into his heart and hit the "flush" lever so all the anger will wash right out of his heart, for him. Too bad it doesn't work like that.

With me, God teaches to my unique set of experiences, abilities, and desires. He knows my heart and the strengths of my mind. He knows everything that ever happened to me and my feelings about it. He truly knows me, and therefore can be ready to teach me the best possible way, reaching into me with perfect tools and timing. However, my son and I live in separate minds, and I lose track of his ways sometimes. I turn around one day and he is wearing deoderant so the girls he couldn't stand last year, won't be bothered by him this year. In order to be a good father to my son, I need to listen and learn ABOUT him. After all, God's intention for my son does not include him becoming another me.

God's way of love is to align His will with what is best for me. He becomes an advocate of goodness for me. He steps in to protect me when I am not ready for a storm, and he let's me fear for my life when I am ready. He places people and circumstances in my path that teach me what happens with good and bad choices in life. He dies upon a tree so I may have no debt of sin to keep me from Him. This also allows me to be with Him, be blessed by Him, and all of this increases my desire to listen, learn, obey, follow, surrender, and become more like Him; whereby I discover more of how truly good and wonderful He is (which draws me even closer to Him again).

In order to teach my son how to trust God and be accepting of His gracious goodness, I am going to need to be a loving, accepting, forgiving, and patient man with intimate knowledge of my son's thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and desires so I can provide relevant teachings to his heart.

My son deserves a father so much better than me, and yet, God thought he should reside with me. Perhaps I should pay more attention to God's teachings for me, so I can become the man my son needs me to be. Maybe then I will become a little bit more of a God-like father. 

Any progress would be an improvement.